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The Epic Quest Series

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EpicQuest

The original logo.

The Epic Quest Series was a YouTube Poop Series/Musical created by FullMetalRaz. The series is about King Harkinian and his boy Link are on a quest to save Hyrule from a bunch of villains. In this YouTube Poop, this series has lots of audio from different TV Shows, Movies, Video Games, Music, etc.

EpisodesEdit

The King's Epic Quest IEdit

King Harkinian has discovered that the Mushroom Kingdom is under attack by Bowser and reveals his plan to fight Bowser, but Zelda, who loves Bowser, protests. Harkinian manages to quiet Zelda by singing "What is Love" and, to Link's dismay, declares that there is no time for dinner before he embarks on his mission. Harkinian leaves to fight Bowser and visits Morshu's shop, where he orders various foodstuffs before he leaves without paying. Harkinian is then caught by George Volcano, who forces Harkinian to sexually service him before releasing him. Harkinian finally reaches Bowser and kills him. Meanwhile, Mario finds a letter from Ganon...

The King's Epic Quest IIEdit

EQ2

Mario and Luigi warn Harkinian that Ganon is up to something, but Harkinian has them imprisoned. Fari then warns the King of an approaching threat, which turns out to be Morshu, who is seeking his payment from earlier. Link stabs Morshu to death, and then Ganon appears and seizes Zelda. This prompts Harkinian to release Mario and Luigi, who help Harkinian and Link find Ganon's lair after Harkinian threatens them with death if they refuse. As Harkinian, Link, Mario, and Luigi approach their destination, they face resistance from Lupay and Militron. After Lupay is killed, Militron declares that the King and his allies shall not pass. The King is not intimidated, however, and scares Militron away by threatening to eat him for breakfast. Harkinian and company then enter Ganon's lair, where they get into a fistfight with Ganon. Ganon loses the fight and begs for mercy, but Harkinian orders Link to eat Ganon. Zelda is rescued, but elsewhere, Robotnik declares his hatred for King Harkinian...

The King's Epic Quest IIIEdit

King Harkinian, Link, and Zelda go to fight Robotnik, but when they stop on the way, Link poops out Ganon, who then leaves with Zelda. Harkinian goes to ask George Volcano for his help, but George refuses. Link also meets with Genie, who mockingly accuses him of having homosexual feelings for the King. Link responds by killing Genie. When Harkinian and Link finally confront Robotnik, Robotnik reveals that he is Zelda's real father before unleashing his secret weapon. Link shields the King from the weapon, which gives Link radiation poisoning and destroys his penis, dooming him to an imminent death. While George Volcano returns and defeats Robotnik by crushing him, Link declares his love for The King and sings with him before dying.

The King's Epic Quest: Path of FateEdit

A few years later, Harkinian awakes from a nightmare in which the late Link tries to enter heaven, but is instead plunged into hell. The King then receives a visit from Ganon and Zelda, who also bring their child, Zeldanon. Zeldanon demands that the King join him or die, prompting Zelda to threaten to send Zeldanon to the pit if he doesn't behave. This terrifies Zeldanon and amuses the King, who then complains that he is bored. Ganon and Zelda suggest to the King that they go to see Mario and Luigi sing. Harkinian is initially reluctant, but accepts their offer when they tell him that Mario and Luigi will also make spaghetti. The King, Zelda, and Ganon are present when Mario and Luigi's performance begins; George Volcano and Mayor Kravindish are also in attendance. The King gets bored, but Genie, who has brought himself back to life through the use of magic, appears and attacks the place. He then reveals that he has revived and imprisoned Link, challenging Harkinian to come and fight him, before leaving. Harkinian wants dinner before he leaves, but Zelda responds that there is no time. Harkinian then coerces Zelda into making dinner by hitting her, which offends Ganon. After dinner, Harkinian sails away and finds Link, who then helps Harkinian defeat Genie in a musical battle. Unfortunately, Harkinian dies in the process, while Genie is sealed away in a book.

Link's Epic QuestEdit

With King Harkinian dead, his family and friends gather for the reading of his will; his ex-wife is the last to arrive. Ipo then appears and explains the details of the will, which establishes that Impa is now to serve Zelda and prompts Harkinian's ex-wife to be eaten by a caterpillar, among other things. More importantly, Link is appointed as the new king. However, Link, who now has a beard, is perpetually depressed because of the King's death. This irritates Ganon, who finally tells Link to "f--k himself." Link takes this literally and masturbates in front of Ganon, and by the time Link is done, he has reverted to his normal, cheerful, clean-shaven self. Meanwhile, Luigi kills Mario by shooting him in the head while he reads a letter.

Luigi later takes a plumbing job at Link's house, where the shower drain is clogged by hair, and seduces Link after he fixes the problem; they soon have sex, which is extremely painful for Luigi. When Link announces his new relationship, Zelda is confused and wonders what a gay relationship is like. Ganon whispers an explanation to Zelda, who is so shocked she spontaneously implodes. Ganon later brings news of this to Zeldanon, who is enraged by his mother's death.

Link and Luigi go to a nightclub the night before they are to be married. Zeldanon is also there and peeks into a bathroom, where he witnesses a distraught Luigi talking to himself about his true motives for marrying Luigi. Zeldanon then tries to kill Luigi with a poisoned drink, but Ganon drinks it instead, and Ganon's head explodes just after Sonic approaches and starts flirting with him. After that, Genie's book prison ends up being opened. Genie slowly and dramatically rises from the book, only for Sonic to kill him almost immediately. To Zeldanon's disbelief, the nightclub patrons resume their partying mere moments afterward.

The next morning, Zeldanon interrupts Link and Luigi's wedding ceremony and reveals the truth about Luigi before dying of AIDS. Princess Toadstool, Sonic, and Tails all die of AIDS around the same time. Link then leaves the altar and examines Zeldanon's corpse to determine Zeldanon's gender, but is called back to the altar before he can reveal the truth to anyone else. Link then acts uncooperative to Luigi, who shoots Link in the head before completing the ceremony by kissing him.

The marriage allows Luigi to grow into a monstrous new form. Luigi then steps on and crushes Link, who dies and goes to hell, where he is shocked to find King Harkinian in bed with a nude Robotnik. Luckily, Link has some Volvic Revive with him and uses it to revive King Harkinian, Zelda, Ganon, Robotnik, Genie, Sonic, and Bowser, but not Zeldanon, whom Link finds creepy. All of the revived except Link and George Volcano then go and fight Luigi, who easily defeats them all. Link, riding on a flying George Volcano, then kills Luigi by flying into his mouth, through his body, and out his rear. Robotnik then reveals that he was behind everything and is immediately jailed, but warns Link and company that they haven't seen the last of him. Then, at Ganon's suggestion, Link and his victorious allies all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes.

Epic QuestboundEdit

EQB

King Harkinian and Link go on an island vacation, but Dr. Robotnik kidnaps the King. Link then teams up with Sonic, who has no penis thanks to Robotnik, in an effort to find the King and defeat Robotnik. Link and Sonic eventually find Robotnik's lair in a cave whose entrance is marked by a multitude of warning signs. Inside, Link rescues the King, and they proceed to have sex for the first time in front of a disgusted Robotnik. Sonic ends up losing his body, and the King and Link battle Robotnik. In the end, a defeated Robotnik summons Giygas, only for it to anticlimactically malfunction, and the King and Link live to tell Zelda about their adventure. In the final scene of the series, Sonic, now reduced to a head, is sullenly bouncing through the wilderness when he encounters what appears to be a surviving Robotnik...

CastEdit

SongsEdit

What is Love (Haddaway) - King Harkinian

Don't Stop Me Now (Queen) - Mario & Luigi

A New Venture

I Can Tell That We Are Gonna Be Friends

From Paris to Berlin

Yatta! Green Asian Dudes

I Can Change

I Wanna Be Somebody (W.A.S.P.) - Coconuts

Don't You Forget About Me

QuotesEdit

Epic QuestboundEdit

(Link and Sonic are in Robotnik's lair)

Link: Hey, where's Robotnik?

Sonic: Down the hallway to the left. (Runs down the hallway with Link) No, the other way. (Runs down the hallway to the other direction) Why are you getting dizzy?

Link: I get confused.

Sonic:Oh, For God's sake, just follow the arrows.

(Link and Sonic come up to a door and try to open it)

Link: It's locked.

Sonic: You just gotta pull it.

Link: I am pulling it!

Sonic: Try it again.

???: Hello?

Sonic/Link: Huh?

TriviaEdit

  • The series is down for now...
  • Gwonam is referred to as "Genie" throughout the series.

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