The Cat in the Hat






Kingdom of Hyrule
Ratatoing (formerly)
Kryptonian Council (formerly)


King Harkinian, Gwonam, Link, Princess Zelda




Dead as a doornail!

The Cat in the Hat is a cat in a hat. Nuff said!


The Cat was originally a inhabitant of Krypton, the homeworld of the one and only Superman. He was the only Kryptonian besides Kal-El to escape the destruction of his home planet. He later crash lands in Hyrule where he meets Gwonam, becoming a good friend of his and gets a job at Ratatoing where he was fired the next week for serving the giant pot of sludge that his boss Marcell Toing always stirred.

After being fired, he went on to meet two idiotic children named Nick and Sally and bought a homosexual Fish at the royal pet shop.


When Sally and Nick wanted to know more about malls, the Cat took them to the Starlight Plaza strip mall in Venice, California. When arriving, he was beaten up by a street gang called the WordFriends while the kids were kidnapped by a guy in a black coat with only dead bodies remaining. He decided to have sex with Oscar with the Grouch refusing. A few days later, he died in the bathroom of the Abbey in west Hollywood. When he dragged out by a waiter, his last words were "Rosebud" as he was put into a dumpster and a nobody-cares funeral was held.

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