"Sonic's the name, Speed's my game!"Sonic the Hedgehog is the fastest thing the world, capable of going faster the speed of sound with tiny help from steroids. Going fast is his purpose in life, speed is all he knows. It is unknown how he found such a calling, but it is known that he one day took something other than steroids.
PersonalitySonic is a smug, annoying and loud mouthed egotist that talks down to anyone that isn't fast. His choice of the fast life has given him one fuck of an ego that only Amy Rose can stand.
He is also extremely aggressive and abrasive, often to the point of abuse, which is how he gets people to tag along with him on his adventures. Tails and Knuckles have both suffered mental illness from Sonic's abuse and later broke ties with him.
The 90s were the peak of Sonic's life, he was once a teen cultural icon adored by children everywhere. His job was to stop Dr. Robotnik or some generic Monster of the Week whenever the world was threatened. He recruited many allies like Tails and Knuckles, and even got to hang out with other big dogs like Donald Trump.
His popularity and success once rivaled that of Mario, leading to fierce competition between the two. But unfortunately, things began to go downhill for Sonic when some parts of his life went public.
Sonic is pansexual, ready to fuck anything. Whenever asked about these habits, Sonic will always say he doesn't have the time to check for a penis or anything that gives him a clue on what he's sticking his dick into. Leaked tapes of Sonic in a threesome with underage ponies are what began his downfall.
Today, Sonic assures the public he is now clean thanks to his newfound Bungholism faith. Many are calling bullshit.
Darth SonicToday, Knuckles is the communist dictator of eastern Europe, Tails works for Morshu, and Robotnik gave up on world domination. Sonic then resorted to shoplifting, he then shoplifted from Morshu's shop of horrors. He then had to fight Tails, after winning, Morshu sat on on Sonic.
Because of that, Sonic was in the hospital for two years. While in the hospital Sonic gave into the dark side and now is a sith lord thanks to The Coachman. He is now known as Darth Sonic, and was the apprentice of someone who's pure evil.
During that time, Sonic killed The Coachman with a light saber, in his last battle, and Weegee turned good. Sonic stayed upon the path of evil, and tried to kill Weegee. In his own empire. That failed, and he was permanently removed from the region.
CurrentlyAfter getting out of rehab and kicking the needle once and for all, his arm hair grew back, making him almost unrecognizable to his devoted fans. He was strapped for cash
and spent years living on the streets without support or contact with his friends. His shitty luck was made a little less shitty when Mario drove by in his limo and gave Sonic a job cleaning his bathrooms.
- I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog.
- You're Too Slow!
- C'mon, step it up!
- Let's blast through with Sonic speed!CHECK OUT THE CONSOLES!
- THAT'S NO GOOD!
- NO COPYRIGHT LAW IN THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO STOP ME!
- Hey, we should do this again some time!
- Too easy, piece of cake!
- Oh yeah, this is good shit.