"Ogres are like onions!"
Shrek is an ogre from the movie "Shrek" (you guessed it!!). He is also from the short Machinima "Shrek is Love, Shrek is life". For most of his life, he kept asked people what they were doing in his swamp, followed by a rape. In an alternate universe, Shrek was responsible for The Shrek Wars.
Little is known about Shrek's childhood but in the third movie Shrek mentioned that his father who was an "ogre", raised him via the bad ways and tried to eat him (at that time the economic crisis was poor). About his mother little is known; Some believe that she was abducted by men in black and they made experiments with her to then report it to a certain pedo.
The Epic adventure to save his swamp
When Shreak reached the adulthood, he finally known how to be able to face the world but at the same time he met a miserable talking donkey who always disturbed him. For reasons still unknown, but it's speculated that maybe Shrek didn't kill him because the meat of Donkey was very badly and if you eat it you can become a donkey (one is what you need).
Later that same day, a group of refugees from the fairy tales invaded his land as vile paratroopers. This group of refugees fleeing nothing more and nothing less than Lord Farquad, who is a recognized criminal of war and official of the armed forces of Disneyland who wanted to be King and he just needed to marry with a Princess (obvious) and to achieve his objective, he cheated Shrek to help him to save Princess Fiona from a castle full of dragons.
Becoming an honorable ogre
Once Shrek and Donkey managed to save the Princess, finally came the day where he faced Farquad again and gave Fiona to him; but after that he began to repent, since he didn't knows that Farquad's evil plan is about using Fiona as sacrifice to complete his evil clone machine and create an army of himself sending Disney movies to people in the street. This finally motivated Shrek to invade the fortress prison of Dulloc and rescue Fiona from Farquad's hands, as well as all other prisoners (in addition, Shrek learned via e-mail that some clinical analysis said that Fiona could have been pregnant, then for people not say nothing as no way to marry) Shrek divorced Fiona and lived alone in his swamp since then.
Turning into a rapist
After many years of loneliness, Shrek got depressed for having no friends to play SSBB (except for Donkey who always defeated Shrek in those games). Then Donkey decided to help him creating a machine to transport Shrek and him to Gmod world. Everything was good until Shrek started to abuse from his power and began to turn into a tyrant killing and raping many TF2 members so Donkey tried to prevent Shrek continued doing that but Donkey was easily defeated by Shrek and was kicked by him from the Gmod world while he continued with his reign of rape in Gmod.
Then Shrek founded a fan club of himself named Brogres which were the eternal followers of Shrek and who prayed to Shrek everynight. However, Bronies started to turn jealous of Brogres' popularity and started a fight between them until Shrek stopped the fight after releasing a great atomic fart to Bronies (see the gallery) and ended the fight. After many disagreements between both fandoms, Shrek managed to make an agreement which consisted in Bronies or Ponies not stealing Brogres and Ogres' popularity or else they will be executed by him, as well as that agreement also applied in Ogres and Brogres. Since then, Shrek doesn't like Ponies and Bronies and always farts, kills or kicks them from his reign in Gmod (except for one who is a rapist like him).
After other many years alone, Shrek decided to return with Fiona and deal with his destiny of getting her pregnant but when the King Harold died by cancer by the curse of The FairyGodMotherfuckin'mother, Shrek traveled for the heir to the throne but before traveling, Fiona told him that she got pregnant. Then during his search for the heir to the throne, Shrek had nightmares about the future of his marriage with Fionna, these nightmares were accumulated in Shrek's mind creating a unknown creature that soon would come out of his mind. Then, a night, Shrek had the worst nightmare about their babies and this was enough to complete the creature, Shrek wake from his nightmare just to find the most horrible thing in the world, he found Da-Da in real world!....After Shrek discovered him, he was cursed for the rest of his life.
Relationships with other people
Shrek eventually got in a relationship with Shadow the Hedgehog only to eventually dump him. Shadow soon forgot about Shrek and started to see someone else, which made Shrek realize his mistake of leaving Shadow. To this day, Shrek lives in his swap alone.
Shrek made a great friendship with Amethyst, since both are fat lazy with super strength who live in a dumb (Shrek in his swamp while Amethyst in a kind of cove with trash everywhere) and both are annoyed by their close friends (Donkey to Shrek and Pearl to Amethyst).
Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life
I was only 9 years old,
I loved Shrek so much
I had all the merchandise and movies.
I prayed to Shrek every night, before bed.
Thanking him for the life I've been given.
"Shrek is love" I say, "Shrek is life"
My Dad hears me and calls me a faggot.
I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Shrek.
I called him a Cunt.
He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
I'm crying now, and my face hurts.
I lay in bed, it's really cold.
A warmth was moving towards me.
I feel something touch me.
It's Shrek! I'm so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my swamp."
he grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees.
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek.
He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek.
I can feel my butt tearing and my eyes start to water.
I push against his force, I want to please Shrek.
He roars a mighty Roar as He fills my butt with his love.
My dad walks in.
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says, "It's all ogre now."
Shrek leaves through my window.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
- Puss in Boots
- Cheesecake (Especially Sara Lee)
- Fiona (Wife)
- All those other Fairy Tale guys like Pinocchio or Ginger Bread Man
- Captain Falcon (Shrek learned how to use the falcon punch thanks to him)
- Kill people using a beer
- Super Mario Brothers
- Rainbow Dash (that what he see)
- Turning TF2 members into ogres
- Transformers (Not Michael Bay)
- Legend of Zelda
- Rapists like himself
- Phoenix Wright
- Smash Mouth - All Star
- Rat Race (Because of this)
- Mystery Men
- Digimon (Because of this)
- Go Tigers!
- Inspector Gadget (as well as on Radio Disney Jams, Vol. 3.)
- The Larry Sander Show
- Ally McBeal (Because of this)
- Cold Case
- Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends (episode "One False Movie")
- Tom Goes to the Mayor (episode "Vehicular Manslaughter")
- 2002 Oscars
- Guitar Hero: On Tour (Because of this)
- Lips (Because of this)
- Donkey Konga 2 (Because of this)
- Diesel 10
- Osama Bin Laden
- Mike Myers
- John Cena
- Donkey (When he's annoying or in most cases, when he has nothing to do.)
- Lord Farquaad
- James P. Sullivan (worst enemy)
- When his wife gets pregnant
- Donald Trump
- That little midget dick Rumpelstiltskin
- People trespassing his swamp
- The Fairy GodMotherfuckin'Mother
- Prince Charming (the DreamWorks version)
- Barney The Dinosaur
- Drew Pickles
- Michael Bay
- Freddy Fazbear's Pizza's Animatronics
- Bronies (They claimed have more fandom than Brogres)
- TF2 Members
- The Barney Bunch
- Michael Rosen
- Special Kids with menty disabilities .(He punches them and let dragon fry them and eat them)(He especially doesn't like Mr Tumbler because he catches out the kids)
- Thomas The Dank Engine.
- Tilly Ramsay
- Gordon Ramsay
- Big Cock Little Cock.
- People performing musicals about him in London.
- Drury Lane Group
- Shrek used to like Michael Bay's movies until he directed the Transformers series.
- As well as Patchy the Pirate is the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club, Shrek is the president of the Legend of Zelda Fan Club.
- In 2014, Shrek scientifically proved that normal humans are 751% more intelligent than Bronies.
- Shrek likes the smell of onions. Onions help expand his layers.
- Shrek and Drek were once one ogre before being split in half.