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"But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Hohohoho, delightfully devilish, Seymour."
– Skinner when his roast gets ruined

Skinner's Lies

"Oh, that isn't smoke - It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmmmm, steamed clams!"
– Skinner lying right in Chalmers' face

"Oho, no, I said steamed HAMS. That's what I call hamburgers. It's a regional dialect."
– Skinner explains what he calls hamburgers

"Uuhh-Upstate New York."
– Skinner tells Chalmers from which region the dialect is from

"Oh, no, not in Yutica, no. It's an Albany expression."
– Skinner corrects himself

"Aurora Borealis."
– Seymour after Chalmers asks what's going on in his kitchen

"No, mother, it's just the Northern Lights."
– Skinner to his mother when she yells that the house is on fire