"Ho! Ho! Ho!" – Santa at a strip club wishing a merry Christmas!
God (of Christmas and Capitalism)
Santa Claus is the Wizard of Christmas who brings the presents for the children all around the world unless they have been major douches, or are poor. You only like him because he gives you free stuff, you piece of shit goldigger.
He is also a racist, as has not visited Africa in 75 years, even back then only giving them coal because it's the color of their skin.