Patman Post
Postman-Pat-1024 164683k

Full Name

Patrick Clifton








Being a cunt
Driving his tuned-up van at high speeds


Any non-alcoholic drinks
Cups of Pee
Pat's Evil Twin
Having his nose censored
The Toad in the Hole in the Road
Mrs. Goggins

Patrick Clifton more commonly known as Patman Post and Postman Tap but also as Postman Twat, The Grammar Nazi and The Beast of Greendale is a ginger penis-nosed postman from England who neglects his job and is a pain in the butt for the village of Greendale. His real name is Postman Pat but his name has been changed for your pleasure.

He is the eponymous protagonist of Samuel Vincet and Ian James Corlett Patman Post series.


Patrick Clifton became the local postman for Greendale in 1981, signalling the birth of an era. He prefers to be called Patman Post from the original Postman Pat. Rumour has it he is obsessed with porn and has naughty photos in his van.

Another legend is that when Ofcom first came across Patman Post they censored his nose for being dick-shaped. This is why he furiously campaigns against censorship.

He is known to dislike cups of pee since it makes him exclaim "TERRIBLE!" and is known for having tuned his van's engine.


  • Patman Post secretly hides naughty photos in his van.
  • His favourite YouTube Poop characters are rumoured to be Hotel Mario and Thomas.
  • He is one of those characters who regularly uses the O-Face.
  • as you can tell, his friends are postbags in his van

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