"I just stopped by for some spring cleaning, and — Are you having cake?"
– Mr. Ratburn


Ratburn himself.

Mr. Ratburn is a rat who teaches 3rd Graders at Lakewood Elementary School. He is from the TV show Arthur.  He is hated by all his students as Mr. Ratburn likes to torture them with huge tests, massive homework loads, and never-ending classwork. Likewise, he is adored and admired by the school staff, as the sole purpose of school is to imprison innocent children and put them to work with excessive mental labor, and Ratburn is the best at it. He also holds rape contests in the summer and fall.

His one weakness, however, is cake. Mr. Ratburn loves cake. When he finds or thinks he has found cake, he uses lame excuses like "spring cleaning" to break into random people's homes and steal their cake, and will go to any measure to get some. He once assaulted SpongeBob SquarePants during a block party to take his cake, was sentenced by King Harkinian to scrub his floors after failing to steal cake from Hyrule, and almost succeeded in buying cake from Morshu in a cake scandal, only to find that it was all a hoax and Morshu had cheated Ratburn out of everything he owned.



Ratburn was formerly the son of Ganon. He was raised in the ways of pure evil, and would have been the heir of Koredai as Ganon took it over, only to witness the murder of his father by Link and Zelda. This planted the seed of Ratburn's lifelong hatred of children, and he vowed to avenge his father.  

The night after the murder, Ratburn traveled to Hyrule to take the lives of Ganon's two assassins, but his plot failed when the King crashed his car through the roof and ran over Ratburn. Thus, he was sentenced to floor scrubbing duties for the rest of his life. But then, years later, he gained an opportunity to escape his horrible Hyrule life when Morshu led a bomb raid on Hyrule, and thus began their friendship.  

Subsequently after Morshu's bomb attacks, Ratburn fled from Hyrule and began going southwest committing misdemeanors in every town, village, city,and kingdom he migrated into, until he stumbled into a small town called Elwood City, where crimes of all kinds were part of a typical day.  


In his first year as an Elwood City man, it was revealed that Ratburn's first name was Pingas, before he (il)legally changed it to Nigel.  

Many months of traveling combined with his grim past turned Ratburn into a grumpy jerkface who hated children. He took out his pent-up anger on everyone else, mostly through crimes and terrorism, but strived to keep a low profile in fear that he'd get unwanted attention and then Harkinian would track him down. Nevertheless, Ratburn is still known for being Elwood City's baddest baddie in town.

The Rise of Mr. Ratburn Edit

After increasingly frequent attacks from or related to Hyrule kept striking in Elwood City ever since the start of 2009, Ratburn realized that the King was hunting for him. He needed to become something that people feared, that stood out and would give King Harkinian a fair warning to back off or die. He needed to become powerful.

Upon receiving this revolutionary thought, he passed by something that made him very annoyed. Among all the old, gray, dirty buildings of the dull city, there was this one stupid school building that was full of color, music, and happiness, and it even stayed clean all the time... perfect for Ratburn to whitewash. He'd spread his fear by turning all of Elwood City gray, and he'd leak the grayness and gayness into Lakewood Elementary School by becoming a 3rd grade teacher.

Not much is known about what he did until Arthur Read started 3rd Grade, when it was revealed that Mr. Ratburn had murdered all his previous students.


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