Lord Farquaad is the mortal enemy of Shrek and all the fairy tale characters. Farquaad is so far, the most weak and puny being in all the existence known.
Farquaad is known for being the fucking loser who got eaten by a badass dragon, though some people recognize him for being a dumbass who at least created his own version of his archenemy, Drek whom he would give his secrets and feelings (and with feelings, we refer sex).
Farquaad destroyed an entire civilization in Murica and he succeeded in becoming one of the presidents of the nation. As we heard, now we know why Murica is so retarded, it's because Farquaad's reign of non existent force, leaving through kids' windows after raping them and make you believe that Shrek is Dreck.
Farquaad is love, Farquaad is life
I was only 40 years old
I hated Shrek so much, I refused to buy any of the movies and merchandise.
I prayed to Farquaad every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given
Farquaad is love, I say, Farquaad is life.
My son hears me and calls me a cunt.
I knew he was brainwashed into blind devotion for Shrek
I call him a faggot
I slap him and send him to go to sleep
He's crying now, and his face probably hurts
I go to bed
I lay in bed and it's really cold
Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
I am so scared
He whispers in my ear "Check yourself before you Shrek yourself"
He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on knees
I fear for my life
He whips out his cock
Suddenly, Farquaad jumps in through the window
Farquaad grabs his neck and rips his head off
My son walks in
Farquaad looks him straight in the eye and says "Shrek is Dreck"
Farquaad leaves through my window
Farquaad is love, Farquaad is life.