200px-Zelda wandofgamelon packaging

The box art for the 756th game.

There's no argument in the statement that video games only exist to grant us repetitive and tedious work with no reward in the end. The Legend of Zelda is the best example one could possibly use.


The soulless mimes who are just there to tell you what you must do.


The Zelda series has only three plots that are recycled for each game.

  1. Ganon takes over Hyrule, kill him
  2. A dark parallel universe intersects with Hyrule, kill the people in there and close it off
  3. Link leaves Hyrule to do some other boring shit


It's essential for a long running video game series to fit the latest adaption with the older ones to ensure that they were not a waste of time. Zelda games leave loose ends that could be somewhat interesting and entire plotpoints then completely ignore them forever. However, some thought that the many games could be relevant to each other. After years of debates as to what order they come in, Nintendo finally noticed this and threw together an official timeline into a book, forcing anyone who wanted to know to buy it.


The most hilarious part is the people who actually buy these games. They believe that Zelda is THE greastest series ever and every other should take notes from it. Somehow under the belief that everyone loves it, their worlds are shattered when they discover that someone with common sense doesn't like it.

Fanart sites are contaminated with grotesque depictions of Link being the badass he fails at trying to be. Other characters such as Zelda are drawn as if they are supposed to be visually appealing, being given larger bust sizes or muscles. You can almost smell the semen on their keyboards. Fanfictions, aside from the occasional funny crackfic, are almost always written by lonely teenage girls who make their own 26 chapter rewriting of a certain from their own point of view. Occasionally, they will write their own stories, but since this is Zelda, they're no different from the others.

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