The Hyrule Castle was builded and founded by Don Random to prevent Doña Florinda from slapping him. 300 years later, Don Random decided to leave his throne and gave it to his descendant, Hylia.
Then 600 years later, Hylia left her throne and granted it to her 3 descent, Din, Nayru and Farore. However, the three teens that just used the throne for stripper parties in the castle.
900 years later, The Three Goddess got bored and decided to give the throne to a young Harkinian, Haddakini and his boyfriend. So far they are the current owners of the throne. Harkinian visits Morshu Store all the time, but he always gets kicked out because he never has money with him.
An Unfortunately time, they knew they had their differences of conquest, for example: Harkinian wants to make the castle a place free of rules to commit their crimes. Haddakini wants to make the castle a place of sex, rape, nazis and gamers. and Onkled just treat to consolate Haddakini trying to give him a kiss, but Haddakini slaps him calling him "bitch" and leaving him crying.
A few of weeks after, Harkinian and Haddakini reached an agreement, that could combine both two things they wanted. Then Harkinian and Haddakini embraced each. But suddenly a tremor disturbed the silence of the castle, the two kings looked out the window only to see Onkled with Ganon and his army trying to destroy the castle.
"Onkled, What dafuq are you doing?" Haddakini said
"You made me do this ex boyfriend" Onkled replied
"And Now your will DIE!!!" Ganon said
Then the war begins and the Hylian forces led by Zelda and Link attacked the forces of Ganon and the Duke Onkled. It was a spectacular battle, Ganon forces were shooting Dolan cut heads and these were effective against Harkinian and Haddakini forces.
Hyrule forces had their counterattacks, like shooting Gay Luigis to Ganon forces, all from catapults. Then when everyone was killed in a slaughter, Link faced Ganon which was very easy just opening the book and imprisoning Ganon in the book forever.
Duke Onkled was enraged and tries to kill Link but Haddakini appeared and punches Onkled in his face, then in the floor Onkled was kicked and punched by Harkinian, Haddakini, Zelda, Link, Gwonam, Impa and Morshu (He latter got in the fight).
Then an gravely injured Onkled swears revenge crawling and away from Harkinian, while is urinated by dogs.
"ALL WILL PAY FOR THIS M*THER F*****S" Duke Onkled said
Harkinian angry shows a granada and throws it to Onkled.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Onkled screamed
Onkled exploded and his body was thrown to the hills still alive. Harkinian is proclaimed King Harkinian and everybody and they all lived happily ever after. Except for Haddakini who disappear again.
The Treasure Edit
There has been noted that somewhere beneath the castle floorboards, there is a great treasure consisting of gold, diamonds, rupees and most important of all; Dildos. Many, many, dildos of all shapes and sizes. You see, the king is secretly a transexual, going from woman to man in the year 9001. He used to be a such a sexy beast that she was constantly sexually harassed by her 69 brothers. She ran away from home, and decided to turn into a man, so this nonsense would stop. Later, he came back to the castle, and killed all 69 of her brothers. She now resides as King Harkinian, and still uses the dildos daily.
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