*cough* porn *cough*
Pat one time, a long time ago, Google was owned by Viacom.
Google had successfully took over the world in 2032. It controlled everything that everyone did online. However, Viacom nuked Google the next year.
For unknown reasons, the DDG search engine was not taken over.
What Google Owns
Google owns YouTube, but only because Google owns a jerk that is famous for unknown reasons. However, unbeknownst to Google, this jerk is also stealing Google's money. In the year 6318, Google will go bankrupt due to this.
However, Google does not own anything Funny on YouTube, such as YouTube Poops or Super Mario 64 Bloopers.
Google used to own YouTube Poop, but in 2033 Viacom, being the asshats they are, blew Google's headquarters up with a nuke made in the Third Reich. This made YouTube Poop owned by nobody, but then the Wumbo Party came and claimed it. Fortunately, the Wumbo Party isn't evil, so now YouTube Poop is the face of freedom.
You worked for Google until it got nuked by Viacom. You then became the Vice Vice President.
Google owned You's Life until Google was nuked. You then became a genius and killed the last Martian left, who happened to be on Earth.
Google stole Ebola from ISIS in 2045 and Google owned Ebola. ISIS then made an agreement with Google and now they both own Ebola.
However, in 2072, Viacom will nuke Google again. This will kill all of the Ebola Google owns, thus making Ebola 4.5% less threatening to non-Koridai nations. Ebola was never a threat to Koridai in the first place.
Unfortunately, Google survived the nuclear blast. However, they went bankrupt. They they then sued Viacom for $100 googol. This destroyed Viacom, which freed YouTube Poop forever. Google then changed their ways and became heros (who still controls the world).