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Captain Falcon

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Captain Falcon
Captain Falcon YES FALCON PICTURE!

Age:

36

Gender:

Male

Occupation:

Racer

Nationality:

Japan

Orientation:

Straight

Current successor:

"Ryu"

Likes

Shouting his surname

Captain Falcon  (キャプテン・ファルコン, Kyaputen Farukon), whose full name is Douglas Jay Falcon, is the main playable racer from the F-Zero series of futuristic Nintendo racing games, and is the iconic "mascot" of the franchise. He has featured as a playable character in Super Smash Bros. (Nintendo 64), Super Smash Bros. Melee, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS / Wii U. He is also good friends of Olimar and R.O.B

In YouTube PoopsEdit

Captain Falcon without helmet

FALCON PAAAWWNCH!!!

He has appeared in many YouTube Poops. When he is not an AG Racing pilot for the F-Zero Racing Series, he is a very tough person who likes killing people in YouTube Poops. His Falcon Punch, at max power, can destroy a piece of the galaxy. Captain Falcon is more powerful than Weegee. He doesn't give any mercy at all to whoever he fights and encounters.

History on EarthEdit

Douglas Jay Falcon was born on December 6, 1941 to a Japanese family. He literally spent 1 day in his first home before moving to Pearl Harbor, Hawaii the next day. When Pearl Harbor was attacked, his parents were killed. Angry that the Japanese killed his family (also Japanese) he got so pissed he cussed nonstop for 7 days before teaching himself the Falcon Punch. Ironically, he learned it by punching himself in the face. He was found by Shigeru Miyamoto 25 years later, and was genetically enhanced to be a video game character. Since videogames were a secret back then, and the technology was not public, he was hidden from the world until the date of F-Zero's release. However, he had been friends with Chuck Norris during this time, who witnessed Falcon's trip into the video game world at the release celebration. As soon as he entered, and got into his Blue Falcon, the game was released. First to play it? Chuck Norris, who still has the world championship score today. (although it's not used in games because of its proportion. The score is 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999. Period.)

In the YTP WorldEdit

CAPTAIN FALCON FALCON GROBE BOOBS BOOBIES
Captain Falcon, one day, was racing against Samurai Goroh when he found a portal to the YTP World. He cloned himself so his franchise would continue and named his clone Captain Falcon II, then set off, never to return, into the YTP World. Immediately he made a friend in King Harkinian and received a piece of land in the form of Koridai. When Koridai was attacked by Ganon, he fled until Koridai was at peace. While he was gone, he met Fat Mario and Gay Luigi, and they also made a friendship. Eventually, after much of the two Bros. history, (described in Fat Mario and Gay Luigi's respective pages on this wiki) They all moved into Hyrule Castle, leaving Princess Peach with the real Mario Bros. Captain Falcon hasn't been doing much since then if there's not an adventure, and is often noticed with Link saying "Gee, it sure is boring around here..."

TriviaEdit

FALCON PUNCH FREE FOR ALL!!!
  • He hates getting Rick-Rolled.
  • He once kissed Morshu and died, but was resurrected by King Harkinian. After, Morshu was so hyperenergetic from the kiss he had "battsex" with Gay Luigi for some spaghetti. (Basically, Captain Falcon caused a bribing.)
  • Captain Falcon is currently in a dating relationship with the Queen of Hyrule, as she divorced from King Harkinian. Falcon is doing quite well and is thinking about proposing.
  • He once gave a powered-up badge he owned to King Harkinian, recreating and revamping Captain King, the King's former superhero alter ego, to Ganon's delight. The old Captain King used the Triforce of Power, which Harkinian had to steal from Ganon every time he needed to transform.
  • His clone, Captain Falcon II, once was in a TV series modeled after F-Zero. After accidentally blowing up part of the galaxy with a full-powered Falcon Punch, the directors thought it'd be funny to make this a scene. Captain Falcon II didn't like it, however, because he almost destroyed his world. He felt he could not show his face again, for he felt that explosion could have well destroyed his world. He concluded it was an evil deed on his and the directors' part. Captain Falcon II leaked this into the real world and it became a popular meme, but soon after passed his title down to his protege, only known as Ryu, his name in the anime. He then decided to kill himself. He ended his life with a second explosion that somehow, again, didn't destroy his world. He even had Ryu and the actor who played Black Shadow get in on it, and on that day his life was tragically ended, and he took the directors of the anime with him.

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